How to recognize traumatic stress in children of different ages: psychologist’s advice – Publications

The younger the child, the more his reaction to stress depends on the behavior of parents or adults. If they can adequately respond to the situation and master it, then in most cases the child does not develop symptoms of trauma. However, with prolonged exposure to stress, the likelihood of symptoms increases.

Psychologists of the charitable foundation “Voices of Children” have developed the concept assistance to children who were returned after deportation to Russia, it was presented on September 13.

Part of the document concerns the ability to recognize traumatic stress in a child depending on age. After all, separation from parents during deportation or forced resettlement to an aggressor country can sometimes be the main cause of a child’s psychological trauma. Parental support and connection with the family is a basic need during trauma.

We asked a psychologist from the “Voices of Children” foundation about how to recognize traumatic stress in a child depending on age. Elena Lisova. Further – her direct speech.

Characteristic reactions to traumatic stress in children aged 0-3 years:

• irritability,
• weep,
• fear of loud unfamiliar sounds,
• sudden movements of adults.

When the child is already talking, he may complain of pain in various parts of the body, such as the head, stomach, arms or legs, although there is no objective reason for these complaints. She is wary of strangers and unfamiliar places, although cognitive interest is actively manifested at this age, and if the child is normal, she is interested in everything new.

Having experienced a traumatic experience, children can be overactive, overexcited, or, on the contrary, show bodily inhibition and even numbness. In cases of particularly difficult and long-lasting traumatic situations, such young children can show emotional freezing: lack of crying, laughter, it seems that they have no emotions at all.

Children under the age of three usually already acquire certain skills: they know how to walk, learn to eat independently and begin to speak their first words, but they may lose them due to trauma.

The main need from parents / guardians

At this age, the child needs physical contact the most. If the baby is breastfeeding, if possible, it should be continued for some time after the traumatic event in order to maintain emotional and physical closeness with the mother.

Body contact should not be just formal, but filled with love, care and protection. In the process of joint play or hugs, you should pay attention to how the child breathes.

During the experience of a traumatic event, her breathing may become frequent and shallow. In such cases, parents can synchronize their breathing with the child. Sit next to you or hug, so that the child feels your breath. And try to breathe, just like a child, and then start breathing a little slower and deeper.

When getting out of an anxious situation, a clear routine is important. When trauma is experienced, basic trust in the world is broken and a sense of chaos emerges. The satisfaction of basic needs, such as sleep or food, the rhythm of routine actions give the child a sense of predictability, order and, accordingly, security.

Also, to calm the child, you should sing lullabies and tell fairy tales. The main thing is to do it in a calm tone, slowing down speech and movements so that the child feels relaxed.

Characteristic reactions to traumatic stress in children aged 3-7 years:

• regressive behavior such as finger sucking,
• loss of neatness skills,
• the child unconsciously defecates or defecates,
• afraid of separation from parents,
• irritated, overly active or, on the contrary, withdrawn,
• can be aggressive, refuse to communicate, avoid contact.

May have poor concentration, learning difficulties, resists adult requests and rules, does not play with pleasure, or games are unemotional. May have sleep disturbances (both difficulty falling asleep and nightmares). Also – to eat stress emotionally.

Trying to return dyadic relationship with the mother. A child up to 2-3 years of age feels as if he is one with his mother. Then she gradually discovers the outside world and switches to more active contact with the rest of the family or other adults.

When experiencing a traumatic situation, the child seems to return to his previous world, in which he was safe. She may refuse to go to kindergarten or stay with someone in the family, instead constantly demanding her mother’s presence.

Also, when reminded of a traumatic event, children of this age often withdraw into themselves, become upset, and refuse to talk about it. Their games become stereotypical, ones that symbolically or directly reflect the trauma.

The main need from parents / guardians

To give a feeling of physical and psychological safety. At this age, physical contact and routine are still important. It is important for parents to spend quality time with their child, for example, in games or communication.

It is worth talking about elementary emotions and looking for ways to cope with them. Ask the children what they feel: “I think you are upset”, “How do you feel now?”, “What are you going through now?”, “What made you angry?”, “How can we help you?”. So they will see that their condition is interesting to someone, they are understood and supported.

If it is difficult for a child to explain his emotions, you can choose different pictures so that he can show them his current state.

Breathing techniques or games can also be used to teach the child the basics of relaxation and self-soothing. One of these is “ice cream”. We imagine ourselves as an ice cream that has just been taken out of the freezer: the whole body is hard and tense. Then we imagine that our body, like ice cream that has been exposed to the sun’s rays, begins to melt and turns into a creamy mass.

Characteristic reactions to traumatic stress in children 7-10 years old

• crying for no apparent reason
• trembling,
• nightmares, disturbed sleep,
• the child unconsciously defecates or defecates again,
• stuttering may occur
• twitching in some part of the body,
• appetite disturbance,
• feeling bad without objective reasons: headache, dizziness, pain in the spine, muscles, eye irritation, indigestion, etc.

There may be increased fatigue, demonstrative aggressiveness, excessive noise or withdrawal, a pessimistic view of the future, difficulties in relationships with peers, low motivation to play, loss of interest in learning, impaired concentration, memory, etc.

The main need from parents / guardians

Here you can already talk and analyze the situation that happened. At the same time, emphasize that the child is not to blame for what happened, as children at this age may feel guilty due to a lack of understanding of cause-and-effect relationships. This feeling can make it difficult for them to experience the trauma.

Parents should not hide their emotions from their children. It is important for children to have a stable, healthy adult nearby, but not emotionally “frozen”. There is nothing wrong with children seeing their parents’ emotions. It is like a permission from the parents for the children to experience the situation as they feel it. Of course, the reason for the parents’ worries should be explained. The belief of mothers and fathers that their tears should not be seen does not contribute to the living of psychotrauma, on the contrary, it preserves it.

After traumatic events, a child’s learning efficiency may deteriorate due to a decrease in memory, thinking, and attention. Therefore, parents should not demand more than the child is able to pull now. Also, she can get tired faster even from minor loads, so you should not load her with a bunch of additional circles or sections after school.

At this age, it is important for a child to communicate with friends. You can organize joint walks, trips, workshops with peers, but first you should ask the child if he really wants it. Encouragement to spend time together with peers should be gentle and sensitive.

Characteristic reactions to traumatic stress in adolescents aged 11-18 years:

• self isolation from the environment
• inability to establish and maintain relationships with others,
• excessive copying of others, adapting to them,
• aggressive behavior, in particular towards oneself, for example in the form of self-blame, self-harm or suicidal tendencies,
• excessive excitability and inability to concentrate,
• unmotivated mood swings, headache,
• disorders of digestion, cardiovascular system,
• sleep disorders

There may be an escape from home, reflections on the meaning of life, pdeath, waiting only for dangers, losing perspective, avoiding everything that might remind of the trauma.

At this age, you can observe the classic signs of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as they appear in adults:

• hyperarousalwhen the child becomes irritable and aggressive, overreacts to stimuli that were previously neutral for him. Sleep problems appear: difficulty falling asleep, frequent awakenings at night. The child lives in a constant premonition of something bad, in the expectation that something bad will definitely happen. At the same time, her physiological reactions correspond to the first stage of the development of stress – increased heart rate, shallow frequent breathing, sudden cold sweat or trembling of the body, pupils are slightly dilated, all sensations are heightened,
• intrusions or re-experiencing. It is about nightmare dreams and uncontrolled memories, when a picture of a traumatic event suddenly pops up in the mind. These flashbacks can be so strong that they block the perception of reality. The child is completely immersed in the memory and does not notice the world around him, experiences intense emotions and gives strong physiological and behavioral reactions – he can run away, hide, attack or defend himself from a danger that objectively does not exist at that moment.
• avoidance. When the situation is mentioned, the child immediately feels strong emotional and physiological reactions, so he tries in every way to avoid such conversations. She does not visit places that may remind us of this, does not use things associated with traumatic memories, breaks contact with people who may remind us of a difficult situation. Avoidance reactions can be different, up to the displacement of certain elements of memories of a traumatic situation. Over time, the experience of post-traumatic stress in adolescents approaches the clinical manifestations of PTSD.

The main need of adolescents aged 11–13 from parents / guardians

It is important to respect boundaries, maintain trusting contact and communication. Parents should not impose their advice or ask inappropriate questions. Instead, it is better to show more interest in children’s affairs and ask about their experiences. It is important to be sincere in expressing your emotions.

Friendly and trusting communication is possible when parents are also ready to talk about themselves, admit their difficulties and mistakes.

In addition, it is important for parents to discuss ways in which they can cope with their emotions or situations. And you should not put pressure on the child or place excessive expectations on him. For example, after a traumatic situation, a child may begin to learn worse, and this may be additional stress for him, because he does not receive the same grades as before. Parents should talk about it and explain that it can be like this for a while, it’s normal.

The main need of adolescents aged 14–18 from parents / guardians

The older a teenager becomes, the more space he needs to be left for his own choices, the more recognition and respect for his feelings he needs. He will not always consult or tell his parents. This can cause fear, because it is easier for parents to control and understand what is happening in the child’s life. Especially when the child was in danger. However, with age, control must be gradually released, otherwise the teenager will never be able to become independent.

Not all experiences of a teenager can be known to parents. A teenage child has the right to his secrets even from his parents. The main thing is to let her know that you are there for her and that she can come to you at any time with any problem.

It is important for parents to be sensitive and find a balance: to show interest in children’s lives, but not to interfere where they are not asked. Do not be intrusive. If there is trust, the teenager will turn to his parents when he feels that he is not coping. If trust is broken, the adolescent will seek other sources of support.

If parents observe significant changes in the child’s behavior and mood after a traumatic event, especially if these changes are similar to the manifestations of PTSD and last more than a month and do not subside, only intensify, it is necessary to seek professional help.