“I was afraid of being missing”: memories of a mother who died in the war with the call sign “Ant”

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Since the beginning of the full-scale invasion of Ukraine, there have been many mothers who have lost their children. And also – children who lost their mothers as a result of Russian military aggression. “Ukrainian Truth. Life” tells the story of Oksana Horpinich, a 44-year-old mother of two daughters, who worked as a paramedic in the village of Zabolottsi in the Volyn region all her pre-war life, and in 2016 signed a contract and joined the ranks of the Armed Forces of Ukraine. During her 7 years of service, Oksana earned the rank of senior sergeant and received many awards. On May 9, 2022, after 5 days of searching, a military man was found under the rubble of a hospital in the Kharkiv region, which was hit by a Russian missile. We talked with Oksana’s daughters Nataliya Shchur and Iryna Kolisnychenko, with her brother with the call sign “Tuman”, and also learned more about the pre-war life of the woman from her fellow villager Ksenia Shchutska. From civilian to military Oksana Gorpinich Oksana Gorpinich was born on May 2, 1978 in the Russian village of Gordeevo. When she was 2 years old, together with her parents, they moved to Ukraine, to the village of Blagodatne, Volyn region. The woman graduated from Kivertsi Medical College and at the age of 17 got her first job as a nurse at a medical center in the nearby village of Zabolottsi. She worked there for the rest of her life: first she was a nurse, then she became a paramedic. Oksana also worked as a nurse in a rural school. The woman covered the 5 km distance to work every day by bicycle. On it, she could visit patients personally. “You could call Oksana at any time, 8-9 in the evening… I say that the child is sick. She: give this and that, if there is no this – that. And that’s it. Meet her in the morning for a check-up,” recalls a fellow villager Ksenia Shchutska. Oksana’s youngest daughter, 25-year-old Iryna, says that the whole village knew her mother. The girl followed in her mother’s footsteps – got a medical education and now works as a medical representative in pharmacies. Mother showed her dedication to work almost every day, says Iryna, when she got on her two-wheeler and went to work in the snow or rain. At the age of 17, Oksana got married and became a mother twice over the next two years. She divorced her husband, who was related to the military, but was commissioned, in 2019, when she herself had the status of a military woman for several years. Oksana decided to join the army even before the full-scale invasion. She hid her decision until the last. The daughters learned about it when their mother signed a contract for military service for a period of 3 years. Oksana with her daughters Iryna and Natalya and son-in-law Iryna says that when she heard the news she couldn’t hold back her tears – before that Oksana had never said that she wanted to join the ranks of the Armed Forces. A week after the news, the woman went to her first training. “Mom did not hide that at first she did not think of joining the army. When the question arose whether to sign a second contract, she already said that it was her place. But primarily she went there because of the salary. My sister and I were studying at the time: I was a pharmacist, Natalka – to the choreographer,” the girl says. Already during the first rotation, Iryna recalls, her mother told her that she would “return home after the victory of Ukraine.” “Every day was the same for us: we got up in the morning and did not understand whether she would write or not. When she said that she would not be in touch for a few hours – you walk all day and think – how are they there,” says Iryna . Military doctor “Ant” Oksana joined the army in 2016, where she received the call sign “Ant” due to her dexterity and desire to help everyone. The woman served in the 14th separate mechanized brigade named after Prince Roman the Great. Received the rank of senior sergeant. After training, from the first days in the ATO, they toured Donetsk region and Luhansk region with the brigade. And during the full-scale invasion, Oksana moved along the front line from Kherson region to Kharkiv region. During the ATO (later OOS) “Murashka” received its first awards, in particular, the medal of the participant of the ATO, in 2017 – the medal “For military service to Ukraine”, in 2020 – the badge of honor “Defender of Luhansk Region”. A full-scale invasion of the Russian Federation caught the military training in the Rivne region. At first, her brigade was supposed to go to the Ukrainian-controlled territory of Luhansk region, but later they went to Zhytomyr region, to the border with Belarus. In the first days, the woman wrote to her daughters so that they would not be nervous, but to equip the basement as a temporary shelter. Oksana supported her children from the front line, and they supported her from the rear. “Then there were many more dead and wounded, my mother even said herself that she was most afraid of being missing,” Natalia recalls. In February 2023, “Ant” met a military man with the call sign “Tuman”, who later became her driver. “We had a Hummer, a car equipped according to NATO standards, which no one knew how to drive. Oksana was looking for a driver for this car for 11 months. You can imagine how happy she was to meet us,” the woman tells her brother. The man remembers the wartime working days and tells how in the first days of the great offensive of the Russian Federation he went to set up positions in the suburbs of Ovruch in Zhytomyr Oblast. On the third day, he took Oksana there. Already on March 1, 2022, they went to Zhytomyr to the automobile repair plant and came under fire on the way. “On the outskirts of Zhytomyr, an anti-tank gun accidentally shot us at a roadblock. I was seriously wounded, both of my legs were broken. The left one is more or less intact, but the right one is still growing… Oksana was lightly wounded, as she was in the car,” – says “Fog”. Oksana then refused hospitalization and 10 days of “hospital” – the woman helped herself and continued to work. The military man says that he is not the only one who saw “Ant” in tears, because she “couldn’t find peace due to heavy losses at the front.” During the entire service, the woman returned home for rotation once or twice a year. Family meetings always ended with tears and long hugs, the children say. Oksana with Iryna During one of the rotations, Oksana fulfilled her own dream – she visited the sea in Odessa. The three girls spent another vacation in the Carpathians. It was back in 2018, when both daughters were pregnant. Vacation in the Carpathians In the same year, Oksana became a grandmother for the first time. Iryna remembers that her mother could always support her by phone, and in difficult moments she would come home for a few hours to support her in person. “I started bleeding when I was in the delivery room, and an acquaintance called my mother and told me everything. After that, a mother from Donbas came to us in Lutsk for one day to support me. Everything ended well, I had a son,” she says Iryna. “Ant” became a grandmother first in December 2018, and then in February 2019. The children gave her two grandchildren. In the future, it was they who encouraged the military to return home more often. Oksana with her mother, daughters and grandchildren on a walk The last time the woman was at home was in February 2022 – on February 6, the family celebrated the 4th birthday of Oksana’s youngest grandson. “The grandchildren adored their grandmother. Since it was not possible to communicate in person, we called via video link. This happened several times a day. The children still sometimes want to call her because they miss her, but we explain that the grandmother is now in heaven,” – Natalya adds. The daughter adds that shortly before her death, the mother once again appealed and tried to change the opinion of her relatives living in Russia, including her own sister, about the war. 2 months before her death, the woman dedicated a post to them. “Ordinary Russians, believe me, finally open your eyes, this was done by your government, your leadership… We are on our God-given land, we didn’t take anything from anyone, it didn’t matter to us what language you speak and what church you go to “, Oksana wrote. According to Natalia, communication with her relatives in Russia finally stopped after the start of the full-scale invasion, and even after the death of her relative, they did not change their opinion about the war in Ukraine. Mother’s death was learned from a post on Facebook On the evening of May 4, 2022, a post with the words “eternal memory” was shared on Oksana’s Facebook page. They say that on that day, as usual, they corresponded with their mother, and everything was fine. During their own “investigation”, the daughters managed to find out that the woman provided assistance to the victims in the village of Protopopivka in the Kharkiv region. A Russian projectile hit the building where she was staying, so Oksana was declared missing. On the second day of the search, the body of Oksana’s brother, who at that time worked with her as a driver, was retrieved from the rubble. “According to the military, at first there was artillery shelling and my mother stayed in the building to help the wounded soldier, and later a Russian shell hit the building,” Natalya says. The place where Oksana was and where the Russian rocket hit. Due to the constant shelling, the search for rubble continued very slowly. Oksana’s body was discovered 5 days later. She was with a dead soldier, who had a tourniquet applied to him, and medicines were scattered nearby. Transportation of the daughter’s body was organized independently. Their uncle came to pick him up from Volyn with volunteers who provided a car. On May 12, at 5 o’clock in the morning, the body of the soldier was brought to her parents’ house in Blagodatny. The woman was buried at the cemetery in the village of Bilichi. “People waited from one to five in the morning, because the road from Kharkov was difficult and we did not know the exact time when they would bring my mother. Many relatives, acquaintances from neighboring villages, teachers from school came. People made a living corridor almost from the very “a ride to the village and to my parents’ house, where they took my mother,” Natalya says. The grave of military “Ant” Read also: She ran to shelter 2 hours after giving birth. Three stories of motherhood in the conditions of war Iryna: the attitude to war has changed In September 2022, Oksana Horpinich received the Order “For Courage” III degree posthumously. This year, on her birthday – May 2 – the daughters brought a cake with a candle to the grave of their mother, who was about to turn 45. The sisters admit that they still cannot come to terms with the thought that their mother died. A year after the burial, Iryna learned to “cry quietly” so that her son would not hear, and Natalya occasionally rereads the correspondence she shared with her mother. “I don’t delete our correspondence with her. I often re-read it, re-watch it. It’s easier that way. All the memories are preserved here, all the words,” Natalya says. During the farewell to the soldier, the coffin was closed, so for a long time, says Iryna, it seemed that the mother was in captivity or in an area where there is no communication, and after some time she will return. “There was hatred for everyone – everyone was to blame for not saving her. The attitude towards the war changed, we began to fear every siren and rocket even more. There were even thoughts of going abroad, because it’s scary in Ukraine,” the girl says. Oksana’s military comrade with the call sign “Tuman”, who is currently undergoing treatment, calls the woman a hero and emphasizes that they are dying. “Everyone shouts that heroes don’t die. They die. They are the ones who die first. And, unfortunately, they are forgotten very quickly,” Tuman notes. Anastasia Poya, “Ukrainian truth. Life” Read also: “Sleep well, our blue-eyed girl”: the stories of 6 children who were killed by Russia in Uman

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