“These eyes are ready to give you everything, just because you’re around”: musician Mike Kaufman-Portnikov on raising children with difficult fates

“These eyes are ready to give you everything, just because you’re around”: musician Mike Kaufman-Portnikov on raising children with difficult fates



At the end of March 2022, the virtuoso pianist Mike Kaufman-Portnikov is going to volunteer in the Chernivtsi shelter for children and mothers who are victims of domestic violence. And he becomes a real “bearded babysitter” for the little wards of the institution, as well as for the pupils of the children’s home, evacuated to this safe space. The musician told “Ukrainian Pravda. Life” about the fate of children in residential institutions, society’s attitude towards those who are different, as well as about the acute lack of culture of family relations in Ukraine. It all started with one video on the Facebook page of Mike Kaufman-Portnikov – a unique pianist, “man-piano”, author of improvisations, in particular – on the theme of the National Anthem of Ukraine. The pianist visited one of the orphanages from the south of the country, which was evacuated to Chernivtsi in March 2022. His pupils, several dozen babies from one month to four years old, as well as numerous migrants from different parts of Ukraine, were sheltered by “Misto Dobra” – an international support center for mothers and children created by volunteer Marta Levchenko. “Marta Levchenko created this shelter long before the war,” says Mike. “She finds mothers with children all over the country who suffer from domestic violence.” Later, the musician was invited to the opening of the “City of Good”. And during the Great War, the center turned into a full-fledged shelter for everyone who needed help, with priority given to “mothers with children”. And then the evacuated children’s home was added, and then more and more… “Everything changes when you get inside the “extreme community” Since 2014, Mike has been traveling to the front line with performances. He returned home and could not pull himself together for a long time . He could not understand how people who take care of children deprived of parental care do it every day. But now he himself went to volunteer in a shelter for children and displaced persons. “If you are an artist and you encounter an extreme situation – either the front or Mechnikov hospital in Dnipro, whether it is peacetime concerts in orphanages or homes for the elderly, you feel the meeting of two worlds. One world is, it seems, in an extreme situation, and you do what you always do. And a very serious dissonance arises,” says the musician. Everything changes, says Mike Kaufman-Portnikov, when you get inside an “extreme community”, which in our imagination is an asylum, an orphanage. You cease to be from another world – the world becomes one. ” The only thing is, I don’t know if I would be able to cope with the elderly. It is difficult for me to accept their selfishness, often childishness. Until I learned. And with children it is different. You join the history of formation, you learn with them 24/7. You’re constantly doing something, watching something: from everyday moments to cases of self-development and growth before your eyes,” adds Mike. “Everything collapses when you look into the eyes of a child who was born, and no one is waiting for him here” Man , who spent the night at least once with children in the Children’s Home, can once and for all change her opinion about boarding schools. In 1997, an already experienced pediatrician, intensive care specialist Roman Marabyan, when he came to the Kharkiv Regional Specialized Children’s Home No. 1 as the head doctor, was shocked: ” Everything by number – lockers, pots, children; they go everywhere in formation, even to the toilet… The evening comes, the lights are turned off, you go into the children’s bedroom and you see 20 children swaying from side to side in their cribs – some of them have peed, some have pooped, some are digging in these feces, and someone screams… The feeling that you got into some kind of children’s hell…” “I have never seen such horror, – Mike reacts to the memories of the resuscitator. – This is fascist Sovietism.” The musician’s intonations are strict, almost categorical: “We have completely different people here. The insistence on such people comes from Marta Levchenko: to treat children, to take any steps towards them not according to the Soviet authoritarian fascist system, but differently. “Misto Dobra” can be called a family-type orphanage.” But there is something that made Mike say: “I will never be the same as before.” And not only because of the war. In his life there was an experience that he could not even guess. “Every person comes into this world to be happy. It is for this that man was created by God, how then does a man come into this world and no one needs him? Until I came face to face with this experience, I thought it was philosophy. What can we talk about, think about. But all your knowledge becomes powerless and helpless when you look into the eyes of a little one who was born, and no one is waiting for her here. Those eyes are ready to give you everything, just because you’re around, because you’re smiling,” says Mike. “You’re not going to ask everyone to be Einstein.” “Once, while traveling as a pilgrim, I got into a men’s monastery, – recalls Mike. – Four brothers in faith – only four! – they maintained a huge building, a garden and fulfilled their divine mission: they received, when necessary, pilgrims or those who needed help.” Of course, in normal life you cannot demand feats from people. You do not have to work 24/7. “The same Martha falls asleep and wakes up with the phone. She does not sit on social networks, but works non-stop. This is a feat. Surrender of mental strength. But such people are rare. You won’t ask everyone to be an Einstein,” the musician is convinced. “Love should be taught to those who want to become doctors, teachers, and professors.” “Attunement to love is like muscles that need to be trained. And for this you need to have a resource, says the musician. – But the acquired resource is always healthy selfishness. You focus on yourself. And love is when you give, that is, focused on others.” Mike is convinced that people need to be taught to smile. Because abroad, especially in a hospital, in a rehabilitation center, a person can be recognized precisely by the absence of a smile on their face. They must have pursed lips , they say, “we are all to blame.” “Women of the 21st century give birth… like cats” What prevents intelligent, conscious, adequate people, professionals in their field, to understand the essence of the problem: that boarding schools are evil, that families should be helped, not “The answer is very simple: lack of culture,” our interlocutor instantly responds to the question. – Not artistic things, but culture. We are talking about the Children’s House. And why don’t we talk about mothers whose children are nearby – not in a boarding school, but who absolutely do not understand why they need these children? They do not understand how to educate them, because they themselves are not educated. And it’s not important – they are 17 years old or much older.” Mike notes that we are criticizing something “over there, over the ledge”, but he is more interested in what is happening in Ukraine. Therefore, it is advisable to act in the direction suggested by Marta Levchenko, a convinced musician: “It creates a shelter not for abducted or injured children (this is an additional option), but for families. And it knocks on the doors of mothers who, as they think, are self-confident, who do not want to learn or develop, but only want to consume. These adults are the same children with closed doors, who, except for ambition and rudeness, have nothing else. Unfortunately. And you have to knock on this door non-stop.” “You have to destroy the enemies without malice, without hatred and without pity. Like lice” The virtuoso pianist who became a “bearded babysitter” talks about rather harsh, unappealable steps, comparing people who are far from culture and… the enemy. “Let’s say, with an aggressor country and a terrorist, there is no need to talk, negotiate – they must be destroyed , like lice. These creatures are not equipped for feelings and for thinking. And they must be destroyed without malice, without hatred and without pity. This is fundamental. If we do it with hatred, we destroy ourselves. And as for our people, in Ukraine or abroad, unfortunately, cultural identity cannot be imposed,” Mike is convinced. “Love and patience plus an authoritarian component” Psychology has different methods of working with children who have passed through the boarding system : who have experienced deprivation, who have a broken sense of attachment, who do not trust this world. To what extent can music be healing for children who eventually find themselves in a new family – a foster home, a family-type orphanage, adoptive parents? “This was decided long before me. This is exactly what Bach and Haydn did. Why these names? Children were always with them. If Bach had his twenties, then Haydn had Estergazy’s children,” says Mike. Mike talks about the therapeutic function of not only music: “There should be a cultural environment around the child, which is created from books, from … normal music. What is an indicator of normality? It is not easy to find out what is real and what is artificially fake. There are so many imitations around.” According to the musician, it is the duty of adults to create an atmosphere, environment, and space for a child. That is why Mike Kaufman-Portnikov conducts educational online meetings with Smart Education, arranges various offline events. This is a variant of space , about which he speaks. He is interested in asking questions, making mistakes. And he invites to join a completely different dimension of communication with the world. “The child tries to learn the poem, repeats it, memorizes it, I try to reach her, explain a little what the poem is about , the child wants it,” the musician shares his observation. Artist Mike Kaufman-Portnikov continues to search for answers on how to make children’s lives better. After all, science often says one thing, and life says another. However, he is convinced: when a child is born, parents, others adults should unite themselves “so that they rejoice in HEAVEN that a MIRACLE happened where it should.” “And when there is so much grief now, so many children remain orphans, let’s remember that the first step is to help shelters where LOVE reigns. For example, “City of Good”. Come, look, hug, transfer money. Everything is always needed there. Well, the second step is to come up with something so that there are families, instead of children’s homes and boarding schools,” concludes Mike. Olena Kholodenko, specially for “UP.Zhyttia” Photo – archive of Mike Kaufman-Portnikov



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