It is necessary to praise children for their achievements and celebrate their successes in such a way as not to cause dependence on praise, but really to instill faith in their abilities and encourage new achievements.
The Ministry of Health has collected effective tips on how to properly praise a child.
The Ministry of Health advises parents not only to tell their child that he is “well done”, but also to focus on what he succeeded in doing.
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“Instead of “Well done! Beautiful” is better to say: “How beautifully you drew it. The trees are like real ones!” – the Ministry explains.
At Motherly, it is recommended to always specify your praise to the child, because this way it will be more effective. The phrase “Well done! Good job” does not explain to the child exactly what you liked and does not give him clues about what behavior he should repeat in the future.
Instead, it is better to say: “Thanks for helping me get organized. I especially like the way you neatly lined up the shoes. It will help a lot when we try to find our shoes in the morning.”
“When praising your child, don’t devalue his achievements. Instead of saying, ‘You’re so good at collecting toys, but you could have done it faster,’ it’s better to say, ‘Wow, you collected toys with the speed of a superhero!’ A few more seconds faster, and there would be a world record.” – they write in the Ministry of Health.
Evaluate not only the result, but also the child’s efforts
When a child received 12 points for an essay, you should not tell him that he is a genius. Instead, it is better to say: “You prepared so hard and found a lot of interesting facts. Was it difficult for you to speak in front of an audience?”
Praising the child for the efforts he has made, you will teach him to value his work, the ministry assures.
“If your child is trying, notice it. Tell her that you saw her work and that her effort was appreciated. When she gets a good grade, don’t just celebrate the result, but discuss with her what made her do well “, – adds at Motherly.
They explain: focusing only on achievements can demotivate a child very quickly. It’s okay to praise success, but it’s more important to praise the effort that led to that success before it happened. Praise for effort is motivating and shows your child that you believe in them.
Do not compare with others
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You should not compare your child with someone, even if you want to say that he is the best.
“Instead of “You write works the best of all” it is better to say: “You chose the words so precisely that everything written seems to be heard and seen in reality! That’s how real writers write.” – the Ministry of Health explains.
Do not give a grade to the child
The ministry explains that instead of evaluating the child, it is better to focus on his actions, because support becomes an inner strength, and praise has only a temporary “doping” effect and can cause addiction.
“Instead of “Good boy, put away the dishes” it’s better to say: “High five! You cleaned the dishes yourself. He did a great job, all the plates are intact. proud of you”– the Ministry of Health cites an example.
Motherly also recommends replacing the evaluative “smart” with praise for the child’s efforts: “You worked really hard on that math problem. I knew you could solve it if you really put your mind to it!”
They explain that praising children for permanent qualities, such as intelligence or aptitude for certain subjects, can backfire.
“If children think they are naturally good at something, not only will they not try very hard the next time, but they can quickly become disillusioned if they struggle, questioning whether they are really smart.” – noted in Motherly.
Read also: How to praise a child so that he does not grow up a “narcissist”. Opinions of scientists