“I used to be a ‘Vibrator’, now I was a ‘Meek’. How the military reacts to LGBT people

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When Russia started a war against Ukraine, people of different ages, worldviews, and religions took up arms. Many representatives of the LGBT community joined the army.

Someone decided on their orientation directly in the army, someone realized that if Russia succeeds in taking over Ukraine, it “will not last long” because of homosexuality.

“Ukrainian Pravda. Life” talked to active LGBT military personnel to find out what they face during their service.

Stories from the front were shared by:

• a lesbian Angelina with the call sign “Max” – clerk;
• gay Oleg with the call sign “Frog” – officer of the TrO brigade;
• gay and LGBT activist Pavlo Lagoida “Gentle” – anti-aircraft gunner.

Angelina: “Over the years, I learned to answer correctly”

Angelina. Photo courtesy of the military

23-year-old Angelina was born and raised in Kamianets-Podilskyi in a large family with five children.

By profession, she is a painter, designer of premises, shop windows and buildings, however, since childhood she dreamed of wearing a military uniform.

The girl decided on her sexual orientation 4 years ago, after the first year of military service.

Voiskova realized that she likes girls, started to call herself a man’s name and talk about herself in the masculine gender.

This affected her appearance – Angelina wears a short hairstyle and dresses in men’s clothes. But the girl does not plan to change her gender, and calls herself a lesbian.

“I was serving under contract in the artillery when I started talking about myself in the masculine gender and signed myself as ‘Max’ on social networks. That’s my call sign.

Most of my acquaintances know me as Angelina, so I give a choice – as a person perceives me, so let him address me”– says the military woman.

Her siblings call her differently.

“Guys call me Angelina, ‘Helik’. If they ask why I’m in men’s clothes, I say because I’m ‘Max’. It starts: “What? Who? Max?”.

There is a unit where they say that behind their gates I am Angelina and I should call myself “she”. I told them that I will not come to them again”– adds “Max”.

Read also: “I had a friend, and now I have a girlfriend.” How Ukrainian LGBT soldiers come out of the shadows

In his free time from work, “Max” draws pictures and comics to order. Photo courtesy of the military

Currently, “Max” works as a clerk. Previously, the girl graduated from Poltava and worked as a signalman, before the start of a full-scale invasion, she was the head of a warehouse.

Voiskova says that mostly no one in the army gets into the personal life of another – “if you have two legs and two hands – do your tasks“.

However, it was different.

“My brother once said: “I know why you became a lesbian, – you came to the battalion, where there is one out of 600 soldiers, so you decided to limit everything.” Or once a volunteer brought us a humanitarian woman, and someone said: “Angelina, go and settle.”

If they ask me about my orientation, I answer that I like girls, I’m a lesbian.” – continues the military.

Sometimes sexual orientation is perceived by peers as a disease.

According to “Max”, at first she was warned that she was homosexual “it will change in three years, then in five”, and now they say that “in ten years”.

“Our relationship with the commander is normal. When a psychologist came to the unit, he joked, saying: “Go and talk, maybe she’ll train your brains, then we’ll marry you off.” – shares the girl.

Angelina’s painting, made with oil paints

Currently, Angelina does not have a partner. Her last relationship ended in June this year.

The girl has mutual sympathy for her acquaintance, however, due to the fact that she is a civilian and lives far away, none of them dares to start a relationship.

“When my peers tell me that ‘I haven’t met a normal guy yet,’ I answer that they probably do too, because they don’t like homosexuality.

It seems to me that over the years in the service I have learned to answer correctly so as not to be picked on.” – adds the military.

In the future, Angelina plans to combine her life with the army, and also dreams of her own family.

She adds that when the draft law on same-sex partnerships is adopted in Ukraine, she will get married, get a dog, and then have two children.

Oleg: “My favorite question is: What made you decide to be gay?“

Oleg has the nickname “Zhaba”, as a derivative of the surname. Military photo

In the army, Oleg has the call sign “Frog”. He is an officer of the territorial defense brigade.

He joined the army on February 28, 2022, for the third time, because he had never had experience in handling weapons.

He was enrolled in the Armed Forces together with his father, who previously served in the border troops.

Oleg is a lawyer by profession, but he has never worked as one. Before the full-scale invasion, he was a sommelier, liked to ride a bicycle, and was engaged in animal volunteering.

Oleg recalls how in February 2022, when the smell of war was in the air, he told relatives and friends about his plans.

“I told everyone 200 times that in any case I would not go to war and would sit out somewhere near Kyiv, in a village, in a cellar. But the 24th came, I saw a frightened mother with tears in her eyes and changed my mind.

Considering the homophobic policy in Russia, I decided that if we are captured, I will definitely not last long.” – says the guy.

In part, Oleg continues to do animal volunteering during his service. Military photo

Oleg decided on his orientation in adolescence. He says that he has been attracted to boys since junior high school, but for a long time he rejected thoughts about his homosexuality.

“Until I was 16 years old, I thought that this is not possible, that this is not the norm. I tried hard to meet girls, to make them start to like me.

But at the age of 16, I met a man on a social network and went on a date with him. After that I thought – well, hey, so hey.” – says the soldier.

After 2 years, the guy told his closest relatives about homosexuality, and after the start of a full-scale invasion, he made a public coming out on social networks.

“I did it a few days after I started my service, because I wanted to show my active position, when all my friends were organizing “fun starts”, who would be the first to come to Zakarpattia.” – says the soldier.

Oleg took part in hostilities in the Kyiv region until it was de-occupied.

Later, his TrO was stationed in Kyiv. In September 2022, the boy transferred from the Kyiv unit to the Kharkiv battalion and continued his service in the east.

“I tell people about myself when I understand that they will react normally to it. I almost always say that I am gay when they ask about having a girlfriend or a wife. My favorite question is: “What made you decide to be gay?”.

When I say that I had a boyfriend, everyone’s reaction is usually: “wow, live gay, you can touch” – adds the boy with a smile.

According to the boy, the most difficult thing was to tell his parents about homosexuality

After the brothers find out that Oleg is gay, some limit their communication, but mostly the attitude remains unchanged.

In his part, Oleg is the youngest.

“Some say: “don’t make it up, you’ll outgrow it.” Others are sure that this is my temporary hobby. One man said: “I also thought for two days that I liked boys at the age of 16, but then Natalya appeared and I understood that it is not so” – says the soldier.

The guy spills all his emotions and worries on paper. He says that keeping a diary helps to maintain normal mental health.

Oleg likes to talk about his problems with a psychologist, about personal experiences or sympathies – often with a friend who also serves in the army.

“There is no particular need to talk about personal things with my brothers and I don’t really want to give people a hint of my weakness.” – adds the boy.

At the front, he met many LGBT soldiers, including gays.

Oleg is sure that the more representatives of the LGBT community in the army, the faster the attitude towards them changes in society and the level of tolerance increases.

Read also: 44% of Ukrainians have a neutral attitude towards LGBT military personnel – survey

Pavlo: “Reception, “Lagydnyi” is in touch”

Pavlo Lagoida. Photo from Instagram

For the past five months, 21-year-old anti-aircraft gunner Pavlo Lagoida has been called “Gentle”.

He says that the nickname often describes his condition, but not always.

“Gentle” is his second call sign.

“After my military service, when I went to the battlefield for the first time as part of the artillerymen, I started to shake because of excitement.” There was a commander in the trench at that time who said: “From now on, you will be a Vibrator in our company.”

But that call sign did not catch on, now they are addressed differently. On the walkie-talkie: “Reception, “Lagydny”? – Reception, “Lagydny” on the call”, – says Pavlo.

As of the beginning of the full-scale invasion, the boy was serving a term of service, with 2 months left until the end.

When the full-scale invasion began, Pavlo voluntarily went to the front.

He is a military painter by profession, but he has never worked as one. After receiving his education, he and his girlfriend plunged into the topic of LGBT activism, which was close to him at that time. The boy realized that he was gay at the age of 13.

Pavlo says that he is ready to link his life with the military cause forever. Photo from Instagram

“I felt something very strange was happening to me, I was scared and couldn’t understand why I liked boys. I tried to date a girl, but it was because of curbing my attraction to boys.” – says Pavlo.

In the army, he does not hide his orientation, but usually does not talk about himself without being asked.

For the first time, Pavlo dared to confess his homosexuality to his brother, with whom he served his military service.

He was surprised, but made Pavel understand that being gay is normal.

“I felt the ground, how the military would react, I could translate the topic and start discussions about the LGBT community. That way you could understand who has what attitude towards this.

In the end, the reactions to my confession were different: aggression, bullying, acceptance, sympathy.” – shares the guy.

He recalls an incident that happened to him in the Mykolayiv region, when part of them lived on the territory of the plant.

“A man came up to me with a skewer in his hands, sat down next to me and started talking about his prison past. I thought that either he would kill me, or our conversation would not end in anything good. The machine gun was far from me.

Then he got up and started beating me on the head and body with that skewer – it was summer then, I was in a vest. I prayed that he wouldn’t skewer me. After a while he just left.” – recalls the military man.

Read also: The mother of a Ukrainian LGBT+ soldier was threatened with burning down her house because of her son’s activities

Pavel with his beloved Vlad, who also serves in the ranks of the Armed Forces. Photo from Instagram

More often in the service you can hear jokes about homosexuality. They are different, but even without self-irony in the army, it’s bad, says Pavlo.

Sometimes a guy makes jokes himself.

“When someone is changing clothes, I can say, ‘Man, turn your butt against the wall, because I might not be able to hold back.'” – says “Gentle”.

Due to his homosexual orientation, Pavlo has a conflict with the commander of the unit where he has been serving for the past two years.

“The first conflict happened when he started aggressing towards me, talking about my mother and my late father, and I raised my hand at him. After the fight, he transferred me to another unit, but later returned me. Then we fought again – says the soldier. – Because of this conflict, I had one vacation in two years for 7 or 8 days“.

Currently, the boy is planning to transfer to another unit located in Volyn. His lover, Vlad, serves there.

During his service, Pavlo suffered eight concussions. He says that war has become a part of life, so he can no longer imagine himself without military affairs.

After the end of martial law, he plans to sign a contract, continue his service and receive the rank of officer.

Together with Vlad, the couple has a common vision of civil life – gays dream of opening the largest LGBT club in Kyiv.

“If Vlad and I survive, we will create a large archive film with photos and videos of who of us survived what. It would be good to officially approve our relationship. I think that if they do not pass a bill on civil partnerships during martial law, when the war will end, everyone will not care about us, there will be no concern about the problems of the LGBT community.” – concluded the boy.

Anastasia Poya“Ukrainian truth. Life”

Read also: “I will marry a gay soldier”: a Ukrainian woman announced her marriage to help a friend

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