Let the child “shoot”: why it is important to let the little ones play war and when the game should be stopped
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After the start of a full-scale invasion, the kid sets up roadblocks in the yards and checks passers-by with the password “Palyanytsia”. And on the playgrounds, he goes out with toy weapons, plays shooters with a distinction between “Ukrainians” and “Russians-ass.” And all this to the accompaniment of “Batko nas Bandera” and “Oh in the meadow”. Also, the shelves of children’s stores were filled with plastic tanks and soldiers. The “House of Toys” network has noticed the growth in popularity of goods from Ukrainian manufacturers, as well as war-themed goods, such as Mriya and Patron toys. According to Dmytro Kazimir, head of the “Toy” category of the “Antoshka” chain, military-themed toys have always been popular: “But I wouldn’t say that since the beginning of a full-scale war, they have shown an extra growth in sales. Probably because adults are afraid of such toys and, on the contrary, try to isolate children from the topic of war during games.” Should parents be afraid of such militarization of games and where are the markers that signal: the child needs help? Important explanations for parents are provided by psychologists of the “Voices of Children” charity foundation, which specifically helps minors and their families adapt to what they experienced during the war: candidate of psychological sciences in the field of medical psychology, psychologist of the Chernivtsi branch of the foundation Olena Lisova; Gestalt therapist, psychologist Polina Startseva; analytically oriented psychologist of the Antonina Sorochynska Fund’s Truskavetsko-Skhidnytskyi branch. Allow children to experience what they experienced in games. The growth of interest in military themes in games is natural, explains Olena Lisova. After the Second World War, children massively armed themselves with wooden “machine guns” and went to beat the enemy or “split” spies. Such games were also interesting for Elena’s generation. Instead, the peers of her eldest daughter, who is now 24 years old, were indifferent to military-style entertainment as a child. Schoolchildren, growing up in the realities of the Russian-Ukrainian war, once again project what they have heard and seen into specific toys. True, now with “Bayraktars”, “Javelins” and “Leopards”. “The fact that children prefer military-style toys is normal,” says the psychologist. aggression”. Polina Startseva adds that if a child tries to make sense of things he heard or saw in the form of a game, it is a sign that he is developing normally. After all, playing and drawing are the main children’s ways to cope with stress. War games allow you to process new experiences. It is even a point of support that the little one creates for himself. In addition, such games contribute to the development of imagination, because children come up with different scenarios, play roles, and create. Antonina Sorochynska shares her observations about working with migrant children already in 2022. These are children whom Russia kicked out of their homes in the Luhansk, Donetsk, and Kharkiv regions, and the children found temporary shelter in Truskavets. So, in the break between classes with psychologists, children united in a company and played war, made homemade weapons. These entertainments have also turned into a creative process. After all, they not only made pistols from cardboard, but also covered them with various patterns, painted them, carved some elements. That is, they showed creativity. Because of losing, who is Putin, a thief, a Muscovite, minors can lose internal conflicts. “It is important for a child to work out the feeling of fear, insecurity, loss of home, instability, uncertainty in the form of a game. And all this happens through symbolic living. Such entertainment has a therapeutic effect. Even my sand therapy room has been enriched with dances, military planes, pistols, because I see such a request from the children,” says Sorochynska. Photo: Imgorthand/Gettyimages The psychologist also noticed that children aged 6-10 are most interested in military games. Her colleague Lisova also remembers children of this age: “Our cell organized a Veles party instead of Halloween. And there was the character of the Fortune Teller. The children were most interested in the questions, “When will the war end?”, “When will I return home?”, and the strongest desire is “To Putin is dead.” This was requested by children aged 7-11. And most of the children had such wishes. Only one child had a personal request for himself.” This happens, in particular, because children perceive the world in black and white, without halftones, so in modern games, unambiguous good is tracked – Ukrainians, and absolute evil – Putin and Russians or “Russians, Muscovites”. Lisova noted another trend: in her childhood, there was a clear gender division: boys ran around with toy guns, girls with sanitary bags. Now children of both sexes are equally interested in weapons. And if it’s online shooters? Virtual “shooting games” have always been popular among children, and with the beginning of the Great War and pogotos. Parents may be concerned about blood-stained walls, even if they are drawn by an in-game graphic designer. However, Polina Startseva reassures: “Computer shooters are a modern version of “shooters”, one of the ways to play. And it gives an opportunity to control something in life. Because children themselves are quite defenseless without adults, they feel powerless. And this is difficult feeling”. When parents should be wary When such games lead to destructive aggression For example, children really start to beat each other. “These things require the attention of adults and perhaps even the help of mental health professionals,” says Lisova. When a child, without the context of playing war, starts cutting toys, aggressively smashing things, hitting others or hurting himself, mocking animals, “Little children can just hit themselves with their fists, older ones can cause more serious damage,” says Startseva. When a child constantly loses the same scene A game is a story that must have a beginning, a climax and a resolution, explains Sorochynska. If there is a deployment of emotions, affects and an ending: one team won, the other lost – that’s great. But if a child focuses on one traumatic experience and replays the same episode, this indicates that he needs additional help. Especially if it is a scene where she kills someone, dies herself or is a witness to someone’s death, Lisova adds: “Most likely, such obsessive play is a manifestation of intrusion, that is, the intervention of traumatic memories into mental life. The child sends an SOS signal: ” Look, here I’m hurting, here I’m injured.” And if it’s still accompanied by sleep disturbances, nightmares, increased anxiety, then this is a set of indicators that let you know that you should contact a specialist.” When the child, on the contrary, does not notice the new reality, and continues to play only with conventional Barbies or draw with pleasant colors, because that is what the parents said. It is important that entertainment has clear rules. Lisova advises adults to show interest and ask what scenario their children are playing with. If there are no such rules, the child should be prompted to discuss with friends what is allowed and what is not allowed during entertainment. So that children do not violate each other’s boundaries. So parents can find out whether there is a potential danger for their son or daughter. Maria Dumych, especially for UP. Life Read also: A child wants Putin dead: is it normal?
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