Should the state “get into the underwear” of the wives of fallen soldiers?

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In the Law of Ukraine “On the Status of a Veteran”, every time when it comes to any benefits, payments, social guarantees, it is indicated that the following can apply for something from the state: “the spouse (of deceased or dead veterans) who have not remarried.” Why can’t a woman or a man who lost a loved one at the front, experienced deep grief, remarry after some time, and at the same time not lose the status of “wife” or “husband” of a veteran? Current legislation stipulates that a young woman should put the cross on her life after losing her husband. If she gets out of depression, will be able to establish a personal life – will she not be able to claim support? Yes, we can remove payments to the wives of veterans who have remarried, but the state cannot impose sanctions on feelings, memory, experienced grief and horror. We need to change legislative approaches to support families of fallen defenders. It will not always be about money or benefits, more often it will be about preserving status and “visibility” for the state. A woman who has lost her husband should not lose sight of state programs if she remarries. She should not be discriminated against in state institutions, reminding her that she “may lose something.” She has already lost her dearest person. No need to deepen this wound. For a simple comparison, it is like forbidding mothers to give birth again. The loss of a loved one not only changes a woman’s life, but also endangers her social status, economic independence, physical and psychological well-being. Widows who have lost their husbands face significant problems and challenges that affect their physical, emotional and economic well-being. In many societies, especially patriarchal ones, widows can lose their social status and become vulnerable. The main problems faced by widows are lack of social protection, economic vulnerability, insufficient support. “If you marry again – you will lose the benefit” – this is a laconic and completely empathetic reminder in Ukrainian legislation. Social stigmatization is a serious problem faced by widows. They can become the object of discrimination, bad treatment and exclusion from social life. To solve this problem, it is necessary to carry out information work and educate the public about the rights of widows and the importance of respecting them. It is also important to provide widows with access to psychological support and counseling to help them overcome emotional difficulties and restore self-esteem. Economic vulnerability is another major challenge that widows face. They have lost one of the breadwinners of the family, which leads to financial difficulties and poverty. Solving this problem involves the creation of programs to support the economic independence of widows. These can be vocational training programs, access to soft loans, support for entrepreneurship and job creation. By providing women with opportunities to earn a stable income, we will help them build a new life after loss. Integration of widows into the economy and ensuring their full participation in the life of civil society is a constructive approach to solving problems: creating programs to support the economic independence of widows through professional training, access to loans and support for entrepreneurship; ensuring access to social services such as health care, education, retraining and social housing that can provide for the basic needs of widows and their children; development and implementation of legal measures to protect the rights of widows, including their right to inheritance and social security; creating mechanisms for consultation and participation of widows in decision-making that affect their welfare and well-being, including the creation of women’s groups and organizations where they can share experiences and support each other; introduction of gender-differentiated approaches to assistance and social protection programs, taking into account the specific needs and problems of widows; increasing the awareness and understanding of the public and society at large about the problems faced by widows and the need to provide them with support and protection. The topic of payments is now a very irritating issue for society. Everyone is watching the story when the military, not involved in the front line, first had their payments cut, and then the deputies tried to play this story back by voting for the return of the payments. But let’s be honest, Ukraine’s budget is deeply in deficit. We live and fight on credit. The government is forced to balance between real needs and where savings can be made. We have to say goodbye to the penny payments inherited from the Soviet Union. “1,000 or 5,000 hryvnias” turn into huge expenses. And here there is a moment when legislators, in order to be safe, develop fuses that reduce the number of recipients of assistance… But it’s not about “1,000 or 5,000 hryvnias”. Due to the tension in society and the stagnation of the economy, the status granted by the state increasingly does not solve anything, and, unfortunately, over time it turns into a stigma. But lack of support and respect is an important problem faced by widows. Many of them do not receive enough attention from the state, public organizations and society as a whole. In order to solve this problem, it is necessary to develop and implement comprehensive support programs for widows, which would provide them with access to education, professional training and opportunities for active participation in social processes. This form of assistance actually offers much more opportunities than meager payments accompanied by restrictions on the right to continue living. Ruslana Velychko-Trifonyuk, first deputy executive director of the Ukrainian Veterans Fund, specially for UP. Life Publications in the “View” section are not editorial articles and reflect exclusively the author’s point of view.

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