How can children support friends who have lost loved ones? Advice from the Ministry of Health
[ad_1]
The Ministry of Health has collected advice on how children should behave with their peers who are experiencing the loss of a loved one, and help them cope with grief.
The Ministry of Health urges parents to choose words carefully when informing their child about the loss of a friend or girlfriend in the family. Such news can also traumatize their child, as it naturally leads to thoughts that something similar may happen in her family.
Child and family psychologist Svitlana Roiz advises to avoid the words “your (friend)”, “your (girlfriend)” when talking about loss, so that the child does not project the situation onto himself.
“Tell someone who has a loved one who died, and explain that they are having a hard time now and will need help. You can tell the child that there is no need to be afraid that someone else’s grief will somehow reflect on her. On the contrary, if she tries to talk and help, then she you’ll get better.” – the Ministry of Health explains.
| Photo: AndrewLozovyi/Depositphotos |
The psychologist recommends asking the child if he knows what can be said to support him after a loss. The child’s answers should be listened to and supported correctly. You can also offer the child other appropriate options:
- “I know what happened and I’m very sorry”;
- “I don’t know how to find the words to support you”;
- “We will all always remember your father/your mother. If you want to do something in his memory, I will help you.”
“Explain that you can’t say to a friend who has experienced a loss: “don’t cry”, “don’t worry”, “everything will be fine”, “but you still have mom/dad”, “but you’re alive”. If your child wants to hug a girlfriend or friend in order to reassure or in this way to express his support, then he must ask for permission.” – the Ministry of Health says.
Experts advise parents to explain to their child that their friend or friend, in whom someone has died, is having a hard time right now, it is difficult for them to deal with their emotions, they may feel sadness, anger, despair, irritation and behave differently than usual.
It should be emphasized: “If a friend is angry, it does not mean that you have done something wrong to him or her. It is normal. You have to try to understand it.”
But if the behavior of a child experiencing a loss is rude, then you need to correctly define your boundaries and explain that it is painful, unpleasant and “I can’t do that with me.”
It should also be remembered: if a person who is experiencing a loss laughs and is in a good mood, it is wonderful, but this does not mean that he has already experienced grief, now everything is fine and he will not feel sadness and pain.
“Warn the children that they should not ask unnecessary questions, because they can hurt. But if a friend wants to talk, it is very important to listen to them. You can also ask your friend how you can help.” – the Ministry of Health says.
It is also worth explaining that you should not impose your company on someone who is experiencing a loss, if this person wants to be alone. At the same time, do not ignore this person and do not lower your voice or stop the conversation when he enters – it may be unpleasant for him.
“It is worth offering a child who is experiencing grief to join some activity. If the child refuses, it is better not to persuade, but to say that when he wants to join the game, you will wait for him. Explain that in grief it is important to just be there to your friend knew that she had you and that she could count on your attention, friendship and help.” – they advise in the ministry..
Iryna Batiuk, “UP. Life”
Read also: Wartime PTSD: How to recognize and recover from stress disorder
[ad_2]
Original Source Link
