How war affects children’s sleep and what to do about it: advice for parents
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After a rocket flew into the house of seven-year-old Zlata from Kryvyi Rih, she hardly spoke for several days. The experienced tragedy also affected the girl’s sleep: she could not sleep if she came to her former home.
Sleep problems appeared in many Ukrainian children after February 24, because stress directly affects our ability to fall asleep.
Antonina Sorochynska, a psychologist at the “Voices of Children” foundation, tells what will help a child to get quality sleep during the war.
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Seven-year-old Zlata was sleeping at home in Kryvyi Rih with her eight-year-old brother and parents when a fragment of a Russian rocket hit their home.
“The flight came from the side of the apartment where I was sleeping, Zlata Yaroslav’s mother recalls. – I was knocked back, I saw that our cat was also flying from the blast wave. And then I realized that I was covered in debris and covered in blood.”
The children were sleeping in another part of the apartment, they were less affected. But when they saw the bloody mother, they were very scared.
“Zlata is very afraid of blood. When she saw me, she thought I was dying and only asked: “Mom, talk, let’s talk, we need to talk”– says Yaroslava.
Their house was on fire, but the family managed to get out of their fourth floor and down. Their car was crushed, two neighboring driveways burned to the ground, and the family was left without a home. The next two days after the tragedy, Zlata did not speak at all. And then she closed in on herself. The mother did not recognize her daughter: the sociable girl became silent and stopped smiling.
“Zlata even refused to take her favorite toys from that house,” – says Yaroslava.
The entrance, in which the family lived, is currently in a state of disrepair, but you can enter the apartment. However, the child does not even want to approach his former home. She says that she cannot sleep after such visits.
| Zlata |
How stress affects sleep
Full-scale invasion seriously affects children’s sleep. Stress, anxiety, and fear can cause trouble falling asleep, cause terror, and cause restless sleep. Constant noise and danger can also lead to sleep disturbances and negatively affect the psychological health of children, says the specialist.
Stress affects sleep in both children and adults. The fact is that the stress hormone, which is released during a stress reaction, cortisol and other stress hormones, reduce the production of melatonin, the hormone responsible for sleep.
“It cannot help but affect sleep, because stress affects our entire body. Due to excessive stress, health problems may appear, the child may become irritable, behave differently than before.” – assures the specialist.
Bad sleep directly affects the child’s psyche: “There is an overexcitation of the nervous system, stress hormones prevail. This can lead to many diseases. Lack of sleep also affects the emotional state.”
If the child suffered psychological trauma caused by the war
If a child has experienced a difficult traumatic experience, for example, occupation, heavy shelling, or the loss of a father or mother in the war and now sleeps poorly, Antonina Sorochynska advises to consult a specialist.
According to her, very often the child’s symptoms are a symptom of the family. For example, when parents have a high level of anxiety, the child unconsciously takes it on himself.
“This is especially true for young children, they absorb their parents’ worries like a sponge. I often see that when a child is anxious, has problems sleeping, most likely, the parents also have anxiety, they are in a state of stress reaction. Therefore in most cases, it’s important to work with the family, not just the children themselves. Stable parents are stable children, so it’s important to pay attention to your emotional state.”says the psychologist.
In such cases, sand therapy, play therapy, fairy-tale therapy, clay therapy help. Older children are helped by stabilization techniques, cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can also be combined with the techniques mentioned above, the specialist adds.
Evening rituals for children’s sleep regime
Sometimes parents can be frightened by their children’s stories about disturbing thoughts. But if a child draws his fears, monsters, dark colors – that’s good, so he “digests” those disturbing images and thoughts that bother him, the psychologist notes.
According to her, it is important for parents to have emotional contact with their children. If the child has problems with sleep, she advises to introduce bedtime rituals. They help the child establish a regular routine and understand that certain actions before bedtime are always repeated, and mom or dad will always be there in the morning. Also, the feeling of closeness with parents calms the child and prepares him for sleep.
What exactly will these rituals be – it is worth starting from the preferences and interests of the children. For example, it can be joint exercises, drawing, reading fairy tales, lullabies or massage. The psychologist emphasizes that even ordinary communication before bedtime will reduce the level of anxiety in children.
“Mother’s voice calms the child well. Emotional contact before sleep is very important. Rituals bring parents and children closer together and help with bad sleep.” – she adds.
What to do if a child has nightmares
Night terrors are sometimes added to problems with insomnia. If the child woke up from bad dreams and was scared, then the psychologist advises to be close to the child at such moments, so that he feels that there is someone to rely on. In such situations, she notes, you can just hold hands, hug and talk. She also advises several exercises that will help in such cases.
“When the child has a scary dream, invite him to draw this dream, or the figure that scared him. Then invite him to come up with the ending of the story with a good ending and draw it. If the child does not like to draw, then you can just talk to him about this good ending of the dream. T
It is also a good “safe place” exercise when the child imagines a safe place where everything is fine. Ask her what she sees around, what she feels, who she sees nearby. This exercise also helps when the child has problems with fears. The fact that you are there when the child had a bad dream is already therapeutic”– says the specialist.
The psychologist assures that it is quite possible to get rid of night terrors. The most important thing is to have the support of parents. According to her, evening rituals, sleep patterns, and quality parent-child time will help overcome night terrors.
When should you go to a specialist?
According to the psychologist, bad sleep can be a consequence of anxiety disorders. In addition, there may be other “signals”: overexcitement, aggressiveness, tantrums, apathy, withdrawal, crying. Such manifestations are a signal when it is necessary to consult a psychologist.
“It is very important not to be afraid to seek help from psychologists. Such help will be very necessary for the child. Sometimes we cannot provide the child with full support, we cannot be a container for his experiences. Then we can seek help.” – adds the specialist.
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