“I know what fear is.” Women’s conversations about violence

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Exactly one year ago, on June 20, 2022, Ukraine ratified the Council of Europe Convention on preventing and combating violence against women and domestic violence (Istanbul Convention). The implementation of the norms of the convention into the Ukrainian legislation is important for the acquisition of Ukraine’s membership in the EU. But the most important thing is that by ratifying the Istanbul Convention, our state thereby showed that domestic violence in Ukraine is not purely a “family matter”, but a systemic problem that must be fought at the national level. “The Enemy Uses Sexual Violence as a Weapon of War” Gender-based violence is violence that is perpetrated against people because of their gender, or that affects people predominantly of a certain gender. This is an extreme manifestation of discrimination based on gender, the victims of which are women most often. The Istanbul Convention distinguishes different types of gender-based violence. Among them are violence in war situations, physical and psychological violence, sexual and economic violence, harassment, rape, sexual harassment, forced sterilization or abortion, forced marriage, female genital mutilation, human trafficking, etc. “Any crisis, including Russia’s war against Ukraine, exacerbates negative social phenomena and gender-based and domestic violence is not an exception,” Iryna Tyshko, leader of the Public Alliance “Political Action of Women”, coordinator of the campaign against violence against women, is convinced. “Free. Strong. Unbreakable.” Iryna Tyshko, leader of the Public Alliance “Women’s Political Action” Tyshko emphasizes that despite the fact that a full-scale war radically changes the agenda and puts physical security first, “gender-based violence does not disappear anywhere”: “The enemy uses sexual violence as a weapon of war “, says Iryna Tyshko. Thus, according to the Office of the Prosecutor General, since the beginning of the full-scale war in Ukraine, 175 cases of sexual violence by the occupiers have been recorded. “Unfortunately, a significant number of cases remain unknown, because not all victims are ready to declare their experiences,” adds Tyshko. The activist argues that the same applies to domestic violence: war imposes significant restrictions on victims who are unable to seek help or report abuse. Talking safely about violence out loud According to La Strada Ukraine, the number of calls to the hotline regarding cases of domestic violence and violence against women has not increased compared to other calls. In terms of percentage, the indicators are almost the same as in peacetime, but there it is believed that the number of victims is much higher, but due to a number of objective or subjective reasons, it is impossible to record all cases. In addition, the victims do not consider their problem important, compared to the devastating consequences of war. This is confirmed by the data of the annual report on the state of observance and protection of human and citizen rights and freedoms in Ukraine by the Commissioner for Human Rights of the Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine. Over 251,000 domestic violence complaints were received by the police and social protection authorities in 2022, which is 11% less than in the same period last year. Authorities of the National Police issued more than 43,000 urgent restraining orders against offenders. However, war is not a reason to stop fighting violence, convinced participants of the “Free.Strong.Unbreakable” information campaign. It is about four women who have overcome various violence in their lives, in particular – related to war. Today, these women have the ability to talk about their experiences out loud. And everyone says that violence can be overcome only together. This information campaign was initiated by the Public Alliance “Women’s Political Action” together with the public organization Common Sense Communications. “We decided to show our united efforts through the tightrope dance,” explains the initiator of the “Vilni. Strong Unbreakable” by Iryna Tyshko. This is a Ukrainian martial dance that was considered exclusively male for several hundred years, but we proposed for the first time that women dance the arcan. And by dancing the arcan, the heroines showed their support for each other in the fight against gender-based violence in war and at work , at work or at home”. Below is direct speech. “Most women come for a sense of security” Olena Biletska, lawyer, head of the Ukrainian Women’s Guard, mother of four Olena Biletska, lawyer, head of the Ukrainian Women’s Guard, mother of four children I help women learn self-defense, tactical medicine, self-defense, knife fighting, shooting. Anything that can help survive in this life. Most of the women who join the “Women’s Guard” come not only for combat skills. First of all, for the feeling of security. And, secondly, women want to unite. Because when a woman faces domestic violence, she wants to feel if someone is nearby. Especially when there is a war, when the courts do not work, and the police do not have time to react… Who will psychologically help to get out of the state of fear? Because a woman who has repeatedly been subjected to violence believes that such an attitude is the norm. I know what fear is. But there are people around me to whom I should not show it. And it helps me make decisions for others. Maybe it’s not always right, but in crisis situations it mobilizes me. My motivation is my future. I do not want my life to consist of a life of occupation, oppression and humiliation. I want to be free. And live in a free country. And my strength lies precisely in this. “Only by rallying together, we can help each other” Tetyana Kovalchuk, Kyivan, helps people with disabilities evacuate Tetyana Kovalchuk, Kyivan, helps people with disabilities evacuate I am a mother with reduced mobility, I move around in a wheelchair. And at the beginning of a full-scale invasion, I found myself in a situation where I had to protect my daughter. Fear and responsibility for her gave me strength – I developed an action plan to leave for Denmark. But I also went abroad for work. Because, unfortunately, it could only be effective there. We in the Fight For Right organization saved and save people with disabilities from war. In the beginning, the state had a complete failure in this. And only public organizations and volunteer initiatives quickly rallied to help people with disabilities. Currently, as practice shows, it is mostly people with disabilities who stay abroad. Because there they have the opportunity to find better conditions for life and health, something that is not available in Ukraine. I am a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to achieve it. In Kyiv, I was able to organize my life, arrange my home so that it was as safe and comfortable as possible. At my own expense, I built an exit to the yard from my apartment on the first floor of a multi-story building. I have a job. I have friends. And many could not. But as soon as I realized that the war was long, my strength in Denmark began to melt. I felt like an uprooted tree abroad. Because only at home could I be myself. I was going to work. And being a refugee to receive humanitarian aid is not mine. I came back and regained my strength. “In occupied Kherson, a woman’s task was to survive, to save her family” Olena Naumova, Kherson blogger, kindergarten teacher, was captured Olena Naumova, Kherson blogger Before the full-scale war, I was an ordinary resident of Kherson. We knew that there was a war somewhere in Donbas, we cried together, gathered for help. But when the war came to Kherson, it changed everything. I knew that Kherson would be liberated sooner or later. And it was this faith that warmed me, and I did it for others. I filmed streams: “People, the ZSU is close, you can hear it. The Hymers are already heading for the city. The guys say: “We can already see you through binoculars.” We believed and waited. During the occupation, I was warmed by the thought that there were more of us, that we among their own. And they are the occupiers, they came to us with weapons, they are in balaclavas, they do not show their faces. They are afraid of us, and we are not afraid of them. Of course, there was a shock for the first month or two, and then closer to summer, you know, as they say, the people of Kherson were mad at the occupiers, they didn’t even pay attention to them. We tried to live on, as much as possible. Our strength is in our unity. And this helped Kherson to endure. We immediately opened vibes groups, telegram groups: where we helped each other with medicine, things, money. Single mothers, people with disabilities, pensioners needed such help first. It was especially difficult for pensioners when Oschadbank stopped issuing cash (from May 1, 2022 – author) … I was asked to raise money through my streams. I didn’t want to do it, but I was persuaded. Because that’s how everyone helped. Later, for this circulation of funds, I listened to the occupiers, because they thought that I was being paid by the Armed Forces of Ukraine, the Security Service of Ukraine, that I was a gunner. I said: “No, these are funds from ordinary Ukrainians.” “What? Stranger people help?”, the occupiers asked me. Exactly! And I realized only now that in fact all of them were women. All those who collected money, all those to whom we distributed money were women. The woman’s task was to survive, to keep her family alive and healthy, or to take the children out of this territory as far as possible so that they would not see or hear about it. Such a military matriarchy reigned. Because the men were under the crosshairs – they were constantly checked, taken to the basements, unfortunately, not all of them returned. Less attention was paid to women. For some reason, I thought that they wouldn’t touch me either. When they said that the FSB was watching me, I commented in the stream: “Please! FSB, you are a solid organization, you will not touch an outdated tik-tokersha.” It turned out – no! Because I am a woman who spoke out loud about the fact that Kherson is Ukraine, Crimea is Ukraine, Zaporizhzhia is Ukraine, Donbas is Ukraine. They could not bear this. If I was sweltering in the basement when I heard sounds that I don’t want to remember, I tried to breathe. She inhaled deeply to the count of 4, and then exhaled to the count of 8. And then she turned to herself: “Does something depend on you? No. So calm down! You won’t be killed twice, and it will be seen there!”. And so from morning to evening. I understood: if I am still alive, then there is no such task to kill. And over me, over my fellow bloggers, this is a show trial to intimidate the Kherson people. To intimidate Ukrainians – to shut our mouths, to forget about freedom of speech, to forget how to breathe, and to breathe only when allowed. And there, in the basement, I believed that at some point the door of the cell would open, our boys would come in and say: “Glory to Ukraine! Mother, go home, it’s enough to sit here.” When I was scared, I repeated the words to myself like a mantra: “Everything will be Ukraine. We will be released.” “You are not alone, you have the strength to move and win!” Marina Sizova, sniper, defends Kyiv since February 25, 2022 Marina Sizova, sniper, defends Kyiv since February 25, 2022 My strength is in our unity. Our people inspire so much that we have no right to stop. And we are fighting for the independence of the country, freedom, children and parents. And freedom for me is the opportunity to have a choice, not to be afraid to express one’s opinion, the absence of any violence. The problem of violence exists in different planes. We have to deal with it, counteract it. I am convinced that the situation in the country will change the attitude towards the problem of violence. Everyone is fighting on their own front today. Perhaps men will reconsider their attitude towards women, towards safety and care for their loved ones. And when violence happens, a woman will know how to resist. Of course, in war I feel fear. I was both a sniper and a medic. I live in a barracks, everything is honest. But it is precisely through your actions that you change attitudes and destroy stereotypes about women. And in the army too. I am grateful to my relatives, friends, brothers and sisters who supported my decision. Because support is the main thing that gives strength. CERTIFICATE. If you find yourself in a situation of violence, contact the Free legal aid number: 0800213103 This is legal aid for victims of sexual violence during the war and domestic violence of Iryna Virtosu, especially for UP. Life

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