“The three closest men ended up at war”: the founder of the Women’s Battalion on family, struggle and help

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Alyona Danilova’s stepfather, husband and 19-year-old brother are at war. Three generations of men went to the front as volunteers to prevent the enemy from capturing their native home. A month after the invasion, the woman felt helpless because, in her opinion, she was not helping the military globally. In one night, full of despair, pain and tears, the idea of ​​creating the Women’s Battalion was born – a volunteer community of women who aspire to become a reliable rear of the Ukrainian struggle. They help the military with ammunition: they buy body armor, helmets, thermal imagers, quadcopters, walkie-talkies, tactical backpacks, first-aid kits, etc. Alyona Danilova, the founder of the Women’s Battalion, told about the idea of ​​creating a community and her personal motives for “UP.Zhyttia”. Next is her direct speech. Stepfather and brother It all actually started with the Maidan. I remember how my mother and grandmother and I sat in front of the TV and watched the news. In the Khmelnytskyi region, where I come from, it seemed something scary and incomprehensible. I was 16 years old, and I was not very conscious or patriotic – there was no situation where it was necessary to show it. The stepfather went to the front almost immediately after the beginning of the invasion, and in February 2015 he was captured. We started looking for him, and we were “hunted” by fraudsters. For example, sell a house or an apartment – we will tell you where your husband is. It is interesting that they spoke Ukrainian. The stepfather’s parents were desperate and almost dared to take such a step, but soon the Russians somehow turned on the stepfather’s phone. Apparently, they wanted to find something in it. That’s how we found out that he was alive, found volunteers and added him to the lists for exchange. However, after the release, no one ever talked about the captivity itself with the stepfather. It wasn’t a policy of silence, it was more of a desire not to trigger it. Stepfather on duty After his return, cyborgs began to appear at our house, defending the Donetsk airport. These were twin stepfathers, they were all friends. My brother (he is now 19) was just finishing the 8th grade at the time, but he studied badly. Mom was brainstorming where to send him to study further, because he definitely didn’t do well at school. A year later, the brother finally made up his mind and declared that he would be a soldier, like his stepfather. He went to the Odesa Military Lyceum, and then entered the Odesa Academy of Intelligence, where he is currently studying. In 2020, of course, no one could even imagine that there would be a full-scale invasion. Parents and relatives thought that the boy would finish his studies and sit quietly in the study, studying theory. But no one knew that the theory would become practice, and he would not even learn. They immediately signed a contract. And already from the 3rd year they are taken on combat tours. Then they return to the academy, “tighten up” the theory and again – to practice. Read also: Takmed was “pulled up” thanks to Instagram: the story of a wounded soldier who managed to save his hand near Kherson. Man I met my husband in 2016 at the Ostroh Academy. I enrolled in the first course, and Zhenya studied by correspondence to become a psychologist. He was already serving, but he wanted to get a civilian profession. That day he walked around the dormitory looking for someone to iron his shirt. My friend easily said: “Oh, Alyona can.” She assured me that it wouldn’t take long. For some reason I agreed. After 15 minutes, there was a knock on our room – Zhenya came with chocolate as a sign of gratitude. We let him in, and he began to tell us stories from the front: that someone was killed there, someone was put into an accordion. Alyona with her husband Then my friend and I sat down and decided that we shouldn’t talk to this guy – he tells some scary stories. Zhenya followed me on social networks, but it was not important for me. 3 years later, during a session, my friend mentioned a guy whose shirt I was ironing. She asked if I saw that he was injured. I went to his Instagram – and there is a video where he is lying in the hospital barely conscious, holding his intestines in his hands. He was shot with a machine gun: all his organs were affected, they were glued in pieces. One kidney and spleen had to be removed, as well as a fragment of the liver. I wrote him words of support, corresponded a little. Half a year later, they met again in the dormitory: he came to the session, was undergoing rehabilitation. But it was communication at the level of greetings and a few general phrases. Read also: “Military” brains allow you to understand things that “civilian” ones would not be able to understand. Stories of a traumatologist from a military hospital During my studies, I moved to Kyiv, and another guy proposed to me. My future husband does not miss this information. He told me: “You know, I liked you so much that I would marry you.” I thought again that it was some kind of joke. But Zhenya asked me several times a month whether I had changed my mind. And already during covid I came to Kyiv, got sick, and I needed to see a doctor. Zhenya met me near the subway with a huge bouquet of daisies, put me in his car and almost faced the fact that what was next – a wedding, a family and children. I didn’t think anything serious would happen, but Zhenya actually had plans for me. He said that he made only one mistake – when he let me go immediately after the first meeting. From the moment he first brought me to his apartment until now, I always have a bouquet of fresh flowers. He is always near, although in reality he is far away. Alyona with Zhenya and the cat Full-scale invasion: Kyiv In January and February 2022, Zhenya was preparing for war: cleaning his weapons, going to the shooting range, sorting through his backpack. On the 24th, he woke up around 4:30, read the first reports about the explosions in Kharkiv. Zhenya woke me up with the words: “Princess, a full-scale invasion has begun.” He was already dressed and collected. I didn’t believe it at first, turned on the news, and there were shots of tanks entering Kyiv and Kharkiv regions. He asked me to go to my parents, because he was afraid that I might be killed because of my position, our photos (because he served in the “Azov” regiment), but I refused. So we stayed at home with the cat, and my husband went to war. Read also: Sorrow, resentment and guilt. How to save a long-distance relationship despite an argument Around 6 in the morning, I woke up my mother with bad news. She didn’t believe it at first. The stepfather was also called to the city council at 4:30 a.m. to form roadblocks. At first they did not want to take him to war because he was already a prisoner. Yes, they also had a daughter with their mother – she was almost 5 years old at the time. So three of my closest men ended up in the war. Shelter in Kyiv While I was in Kyiv, my husband and his brothers came to my place to wash, eat, and wash things. For Zhenya, it was a huge support. I didn’t think about it. It seemed to me that this is how it should be: the husband is at the front, the wife helps in the rear. I will do my best to bring this crap (war – ed.) to an end as soon as possible. Due to hostilities almost in Kyiv itself, I constantly sat in the basement with the cat. Almost all the residents left: there were a few men of pre-retirement age who took care of the territory, the guard of the house and the grandmother. Read also: During the shelling, I closed my eyes and thought: “That’s it, I’m going to my parents.” The story of an orphaned boy from Mariupol At the end of March, a bird flew to my area for the first time. I stayed in the apartment and felt the house shake and heard the windows shake. At that time, I already thought about leaving Kyiv to live with my parents, but the carriers did not want to take people from my area – neither buses, nor taxis. My mother found a man for me who drove people from the capital to Khmelnytskyi and beyond. But a few minutes before the meeting, he said that he was afraid to go, so there was no need to wait. My husband was very angry at this news, because he is a man of his word. I am convinced that he would take strangers even under bombs. I stayed in the shelter with the cat for one more day: my neighbor came to me and asked to take the cat while she went to the center for dialysis. In the evening, when I had already lost my temper, I called her to ask when she would pick up her furry friend. And she, as it turned out, was already in Lviv. So I got two cats, which would make evacuation much more difficult. Fortunately, the guys from my husband’s unit had to go to Khmelnytskyi region on business in a few days and took me. Women’s Battalion I arrived at my parents’ house around March 25 and realized that all my male relatives were at the front. In the middle of the night I sat, sobbed and felt helpless. And then I created a Telegram group where I added all the active women I know. There were about 50 participants. This is how the Ukrainian women’s battalion was created. The girls quickly distributed responsibilities and determined the vectors of work. We understood that the military first of all needed ammunition: armored vehicles, plate carriers, helmets. And then they found out that we also need to keep records of our aid. Because one of the soldiers tried to resell our armored car. For the first half of the year, we just played non-stop. A year later, they received an award. One of the awards of the “Women’s Battalion” It was a flurry of emotions: we all cried because we did not think that we needed any awards for our help. There is a war and you have to survive somehow. I am grateful for those awards, but they are disproportionate to the fact that the military gives another day of life in Ukraine. By the way, there was a language conflict in the team. There were several participants who helped, but basically continued to communicate in Russian and listen to Russian music. We had to say goodbye to those who could not be convinced. Now the team has 80 people, there is a lawyer, an accountant and several different departments in advertising, communication, procurement, etc. Various volunteer activities Unfortunately, the meeting is going hard. People should continue to help not because something even more extraordinary has happened (such as the blowing up of the Kakhovskaya HPP), but because there is a war going on. Therefore, we have not only a format of donations, but also a format of independent purchase – for example, T-shirts, medicines or some such things. And there is also the “Voice of a Woman” project. Many Ukrainian women do not only seek psychological help. They are eager to tell their story and share what they experienced during the full-scale invasion. Viktoriya Andreeva, UP.Zhyttia Read also: “Katya, you just don’t bury me.” Stories of wives of prisoners of war marines who defended Mariupol

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