“I was afraid to stay at home with my husband.” How to protect yourself from domestic violence

Anna lived in marriage for many years. Almost all the time she endured insults and dissatisfaction from her husband, which turned into scandals and physical violence.

She was afraid to even stay at home when her husband was there, because anything could cause a quarrel.

Hanna tried to protect herself: she turned to the police, but the offender continued to terrorize her. When living under the same roof with him became completely unbearable, she turned to the system of free legal aid.

Lawyers helped her get a restraining order against her husband through the courts to prevent him from approaching her.

This story is one of thousands of similar ones in Ukraine. Last year, almost a quarter of a million people reported domestic violence to the National Police.

In war conditions, the situation only worsened: in 5 months of 2023, the number of appeals increased by 38.8%, compared to the same period in 2022.

However, these statistics are not indicative. A large part of the victims do not contact the law enforcement officers. Most often, it is because of the fear that reporting to the police will only make the situation worse, or simply because of reluctance to talk about the problem openly.

Often, people who experience domestic violence may not even realize what is happening. There is still a widespread opinion that domestic violence is necessarily accompanied by beating or other physical impact.

However, everything is more complicated. Violence in the family is not only physical or sexual, but also psychological and even economic. And most often, victims experience several of its types at once.

Not only women or children can be affected, but also older people and men. Let’s figure out what domestic violence can be and how to recognize it.

Physical and sexual violence in the family

Physical violence traditionally associated with beating and bruising. This is the most obvious type of domestic violence, but it is worth remembering that it is not only about beatings.

If you are pushed, grabbed, used physical influence on others, threatened to kill or beat you, forced to use alcohol or drugs, or control your movement – you are being physically abused.

Sexual violence can occur regardless of the relationship between people. And it’s not just about rape. It’s important to remember that marriage or cohabitation does not give you the right to engage in any non-consensual or coercive sexual activity—there is no “marital obligation” in a couple if you don’t want it.

Sexual violence also includes other acts, such as: coercion into unwanted forms of sexual relations, pregnancy or abortion, participation in the production of pornographic materials, sexual contact with other people, etc.

Children who experience unwanted touching or other types of violence from relatives can also be vulnerable to sexual violence. Therefore, it is important to have conversations with children about the fact that no one has the right to touch them without permission, about the “underwear rule” and unacceptable behavior on the part of elders.

Psychological and economic violence

Psychological (emotional) can be difficult to distinguish from simple quarrels or emotional stress in the family. But if a loved one constantly yells at you, insults, threatens, ignores, devalues ​​your feelings, or totally controls you, it is probably psychological abuse.

As in the case of economic violence, which is often accompanied by the use of force, threats or manipulation. Often, the joint budget of the family gradually becomes an inaccessible storage for one of the family members.

Close people or relatives can deliberately make a person financially dependent – do not allow to work, limit opportunities for self-realization in order to establish complete control and power.

Or they take away her funds or property to dispose of them at their own discretion. At the same time, depriving the injured person of the most necessary things – food, medicine, clothes or housing.

However, there are legal tools to protect victims and punish offenders: urgent injunctions and restraining orders.

“An urgent restraining order is issued by the police for a period of up to 10 days in the event of an immediate threat to the life or health of the victim in order to immediately stop domestic violence, prevent its continuation or re-commitment.

It makes it possible to prohibit the offender from entering the shared accommodation, even if it is his property. Willful violation of an urgent injunction may result in administrative liability.

A restraining order is issued by the court for a period of 1 to 6 months with the possibility of extension. If the offender intentionally fails to comply with this order, he faces criminal liability.

The lawyers of the system of free legal aid have gained considerable experience in applying to the court to obtain a restraining order,” comments Nataliya Marchuk, deputy director of the Coordination Center for Legal Aid.

What to do if you are a victim of domestic violence

All citizens of Ukraine who have suffered from domestic violence have the right to free legal assistance – the services of a lawyer and, if necessary, a lawyer.

Contact the free legal aid system. This is a network of legal aid bureaus (offices) throughout Ukraine and remote services for the provision of services. Lawyers will advise, can help with the preparation of documents, making statements to law enforcement agencies.

If necessary, professional lawyers can be engaged to represent the interests of victims in court – their services will also be completely free of charge for clients.

How to apply:

• call the contact center of the free legal aid system 0 800 213 103, calls are free
• or write in Telegram
• or contact the nearest legal aid office.