In spite of everything, to remain human: a reminder to future winners

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A healthy and adequate society is built in such a way that only 10 percent of the effects of human behavior are regulated administratively. Laws, prohibitions, fines, etc. Another 30 percent is social control. In our culture – especially small towns and villages – this level of regulation is well known by the phrase “what will people say.” About 60 percent falls on the levers of moral control. On what lives inside a person. On the person himself – the way he is. When I first heard about this division from Julo Vooglide, a famous Estonian philosopher, educator, and statesman, I wondered: to what extent does our society correspond to this division? I visited dozens of Ukrainian cities with him in the projects of the “From the Country to Ukraine” Foundation. And I carefully watched the amazing stories unfolding before my eyes. By the beginning of 2022, I was able to classify for myself three large role groups in which people differed in the regulations that affect their decisions. One of the largest groups consisted mainly of representatives of large state systems. Teachers, employees of cultural institutions, local self-government officials, employees of security structures, communal enterprises. For most of them, administrative regulation came to the fore, if not in terms of the volume of influence on their decision, then in terms of importance. After speaking with many of these people, I suspect that the increase in such a percentage was by way of moral control. Belonging to a large system in some sense removed responsibility from the individual for a certain number of decisions. The next group, in contrast to the first, consisted precisely of those who for some reason lost contact with such systems, or tried to avoid them, but did not lose an active social position. Public organizations, volunteers, activists, conscious citizens – all of them had high indicators of moral regulations on their barometer. But very often, according to my own observations, part of these moral regulations actually passed under different names into the block of “social control”. Their social capital and the opportunity to engage in important (from the point of view of society) activities played a key role in their choices and decisions. Read also: Resilience has a “recipe”. A conversation with psychotherapist Oleg Romanchuk about how not to break down during the war The third, my favorite group. These are teenagers and active youth. They showed plasticity in this 10/30/60 ratio, but it became clear to me after a while that this plasticity is always based on the last 60% – moral control. Of course, any psychologist and social psychologist can guide us as to how important the opinion of those around us is for this period of human development. But the connection of these influences on the human skeleton inside the teenager, the obviousness of the participation of the internal system of coordinates in the decisions of young people was beyond doubt for me. When the full-scale invasion began, our team stopped all projects in the areas of culture, education, health care and civil society development. We focused on countering Russian propaganda, communication projects related to national security and communications of Ukrainian narratives to Western Europe. But again and again my thoughts returned to the model described by Julo Vooglide and our previous experience. A new ontology of the concept of heroism was emerging before our eyes. Its Ukrainian reading. Literally during the first days and weeks, we saw incredible heroic deeds of our soldiers who stood up to defend their country. At the same time, we watched hundreds of amazing stories all over Ukraine from ordinary people about how they resist the occupiers, support each other, and help the Armed Forces. Sometime in the summer of 2022, I caught myself thinking that something had changed. I no longer saw that distribution of role groups for a certain “limit” range of decisions and actions. Ukrainian teachers and entrepreneurs, teenagers and officials, utility workers and activists began to radiate something common in extreme conditions of existence, where the threat of physical or moral destruction for them, or for those who were close to them, became absolutely real. I drew attention to the fact that from all their stories were read with such a strange energy that, in addition to tears, left a certain feeling of dignity and happiness. Even after the most dramatic stories. All these people were united by the fact that in all their actions they remained… human. More precisely, their every action demonstrated Humanity. What makes it possible to write “Man” with a capital letter. Everyone’s circumstances were different: capture, occupation, unequal combat, death of loved ones, injuries, hunger, torture… The content of actions is always the same: to be a Human. When this was discovered, I wanted to investigate this unique phenomenon. It was then that the idea of ​​the “Cities and their Heroes” project arose. We gathered a team and went to investigate this phenomenon in 12 regions of Ukraine. Small and large cities, stories of women and men, wealthy and unemployed, civil servants and entrepreneurs. We had interviews, meetings, conversations, walks, discussions, gatherings in kitchens with several hundred people. Our entire team was filled with these amazing senses of humanity and came to our understanding of the new Ukrainian hero. A person who, in extreme circumstances and challenges of the threat of physical or moral destruction, retains the ability to act humanely, to support other people around him, to bear responsibility for himself and those around him – this is our definition of a new Ukrainian hero. If such a person serves in the Armed Forces, the result of his actions is felt by his brothers and sisters and is measured by the saved lives of the defenders and the destroyed lives of the enemies. If such a person is in the occupied territories, his actions inspire hope in others and preserve the chance of survival. If such a person acts in his place in the rear, he increases the space of humanity around him and is a source of energy for others. Today, when I look at our presentations of exhibitions and films about this strange property of Ukrainians all over the country, I see the reaction of ordinary people who come to the square and to the cinema halls. And I become a witness. Witness an amazing meeting. When the Man inside our viewer meets the Man inside the hero of our project. And they don’t need words to communicate. The aspirations of one and the actions of another speak for themselves. And every such meeting increases the space of humanity in our society. And every such space of humanity makes the impossible possible. It gives understanding to everyone who stepped on its territory that only we are able to make this world our own. On your behalf. To appropriate it because of our humanity, because of our responsibility for what is important to us and what we are ready to protect. No one will give it to us, no one will teach it. It is in this way that real modern heroes are born in one moment. It seems random, situational, often against one’s own will, but ordinary people become those who take responsibility for a little more than themselves. They do not have time to think about this responsibility and make this difficult decision for themselves – to go or stay, fight or hide, help or pass by. They do it. They take and do. And everyone has their own reason for that. Someone 25 years ago listened to his mother sing to him a song in which a Cossack rode to defend the country… Someone in the 5th grade witnessed how five boys from the neighboring yard beat his best friend, and she stood and could not move… Someone, that his son asked 5 years ago: “Dad, what is dignity?”, and he could not formulate it properly… But apart from this one thing that comes to mind, there are thousands of little things that live in our culture, interact with us through our friends, loved ones, our family, bring us up. Us, often weak, wrong, but still those who have kept the Human in us. And it is this Man who wins this war. Read also: How to remain human during war: 13 questions of a psychotherapist Thinking about all this, I also think with great fear that we may return to the role models we lived in before this war. After the victory in the conventional war. There will be no more reasons to wake up your Man. And a sleeping person will not need an awakened Ukrainian. Because I believe that every national issue is inextricably linked with the issue of the human in man. You learn to love and respect yourself, value and protect your family, realize your vocation and role in the life of the community, and love your country. These are not causes and effects, these are not transitions to some levels. This is a process of conscious personality development, which implies that at certain stages we should become more than ourselves. Despite the fact that almost each of us has missed several such evolutionary steps, we are able to make a leap not in the direction of animal instincts, but in the direction of the human in us, in extremely difficult conditions, when overcoming terrible challenges. And when we do that, we release the energy of freedom, the energy of free people, which allows us to win. For me, this is the phenomenon of Ukrainian heroism today. Denys Bloshchynskyi, director of the Foundation for Social Innovations “From the Country to Ukraine”, initiator of the all-Ukrainian project “Cities and Their Heroes” Main photo: evacuation in Kherson. Author: Stas Kozljuk Publications in the “View” section are not editorial articles and reflect the author’s point of view exclusively

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