The shadow of courage: about the psychological health of men

The shadow of courage: about the psychological health of men

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On International Men’s Day, everyone focuses on courage, strength and endurance. We want to talk about something that often remains in the shadows, although it is very important – the psychological health of men. Let’s talk about what men can be, not what others want them to be.

“I’m not a soldier, what are the difficulties?”

During the full-scale invasion, many men began to devalue their own problems. Those who joined the ranks of the Armed Forces often do not believe that psychologists can help them. Most of those who did not pick up weapons feel guilty and believe that they have no right to “complain” about their problems.

Ilya Lutsenko, logistics manager of the “Lions on a Jeep” BF, shares his experiences in this regard:

“When you compare your civilian problems with the problems of the military, the thought arises in your head: “Damn, I can’t think about it, there are people who have it more difficult. My problems have no right to be discussed.”

To this is added “if you don’t fight, then you’re not a man.” And also constant losses, big losses. It happens that you communicate with a soldier for a week, you already have some kind of emotional connection, and then they call and say that he died. It hurts.

And you can’t help everyone. When you have to refuse help to the military because there are not enough resources, you feel terrible.”

Dozens of men in Ukraine experience such emotions during the war. That is why it is important to support them and give them the opportunity to share their experiences.

Be strong for yourself

“It’s easy to be strong for someone, but it’s more difficult to be strong for yourself,” says chef Volodymyr Yaroslavskyi. — I can overcome difficulties on my own, but it takes me a lot of time. That is why I have been working with a psychologist for over 5 years. I turn when I feel that I cannot cope on my own. It’s faster and four times more efficient.”

When asked if he does not consider this a manifestation of weakness, the businessman answers: “A man should be strong, but what kind of man is he if he cannot talk about his problems or feelings?”.

Suppressing emotions and ignoring problems can lead to deterioration of not only the psychological state, but also the physical one. That’s why it’s important to be honest with yourself and take care of yourself.

“Be yourself, man, be yourself! – advises stand-up comedian and volunteer Vasyl Baidak. – You need to take care of your mental health one hundred percent, especially now. It’s a difficult time, there are many problems around. It’s worth at least your internal difficulties solve, then it will be easier to exist.”

Ilya Anufrienko, the founder and creative director of the Bickerstaff agency, explains weakness like this: “If you feel that something is happening inside you, but due to social stigmas, social rejection of the environment, taboos or for some other reason, you silence it, then you do not accept a part of yourself .

This is exactly the weakness. And if you openly talk about your feelings and thoughts, on the contrary, it makes you a more whole person and a stronger person. You show respect for yourself. Let’s respect ourselves.”

“No matter how much we fight against stereotypes, society expects men to be composed and steadfast. Especially during war. But everyone has emotions. Their suppression often leads to problems. That’s what happened to me, too,” says influencer and TV presenter Nikita Dobrynin.

— As a result, panic attacks and long-term work with a psychologist.” The showman has been dealing with his emotional health for a long time and speaks positively about this experience: “Working with a psychologist helps me keep my strength and endurance, and also improves personal skills.

I believe that men can and should seek help in order to feel good, to continue to support their activities and family.”

True courage is not in the ability to pretend that everything is fine, but in the ability to recognize your problems and start working on their solution.

How to live on during the war

Many Ukrainians have lost the will to plan for the future after the full-scale invasion of Russia. Things that used to bring pleasure ceased to be interesting, and it became difficult to find new reasons for joy.

Restaurateur Dmytro Borisov shares his thoughts on this matter: “Finding meaning and lust for life during a full-scale invasion is difficult. For me, it is a constant search. If it is not possible to find a source of inspiration, if problems overwhelm you, you need to find a safe space and talk about your feelings .

For example, writing posts on social networks, environmentally speaking with loved ones, finding volunteer fitness centers or support lines. It can be a chat or a phone conversation, where you will be listened to, supported and given advice”

The Psychological Support Line for men has been operating in Ukraine for over a year. The project was created so that every man who needs psychological help can get it.

Where to find help

To get advice from a specialist, call 2345. The psychological support line for men is free, anonymous and open 24 hours a day. You can go there with any questions: problems in the family, trouble at work, outbursts of anger, anxiety, depression, and more.

Line operators are psychologists with many years of work experience.

Help can also be obtained through the online chat of the Psychological Support Line for Men. It is available in Viber, Telegram or on the Line website. Each man can use the online chat once a day. Consultation of a psychologist or psychologist will last up to 90 minutes.

If you have problems, call or write! Remember that taking care of your emotional health is an important part of building healthy relationships with yourself and those around you.

The line of psychological support for men is implemented by UNFPA, the United Nations Population Fund in Ukraine, with the support of the British government in cooperation with the NGO “Innovative Social Solutions”.

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